I end up just watching TV all day anyways, only I don't watch what I really want to watch.
I know this sounds so whiny, but he works so many hours during the week, hours he doesn't have to work since he voluntarily stays late every day because he just doesn't know when to say enough is enough. He's gone 13 hours day most days and I don't know anyone here.
And since I don't have a car or any other way to go anywhere during the day he ends up being the only person I ever talk to, except for my friends and family on the phone.
We've lived here for a little over a month now and I literally haven't talked to anyone except him since we moved here. It doesn't help that we have somehow managed to find the most unfriendly neighbors I have ever encountered. These people not only don't approach their neighbors, they go all out to avoid them. Even when walking my dog other dog owners will go out of their way to not have to interact with me or my dog. It's bizarre. It's very pretty here and green, but part of me hates living here. I feel like I'm trapped in a bubble with someone who can't play the part of my only friend, he's just not made from that mold.
Ultimately I'm incredibly lonely. I guess that's what all this boils down to.
**hugs**
ReplyDeleteI know it can be incredibly lonely to be married and not know anyone in the area.
The thing that works for me: smile and say "hi".
But even that doesn't work all the time...
Find a public library and go there once or twice a week?
Maybe you could make something for your neighbors and bring it as a "get to know you" thing? I'm from the midwest where it's hardly ever green or pretty... and that works here...
I'm sorry life is hard right now--
As far as his day off is concerned, you might try planning "special" time, a block of time where you both have to get out of the house together and do something "new" or fun. Experience life together, because you're safe together... and have fun when you have time.
It sounds like he's got a bit of workaholic in him (I do too), so you might want to ask him if he can set a limit. If you make dinner, tell him when you want him home to eat dinner, and see what kind of compromise you two can come to.
Are Meetup (.com) groups available in your area? I've found that to be helpful in meeting people who are also interested in meeting others for various activities. Book clubs, creative interests, dining out, trying different coffee places in the area...there are so many. It's great!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're lonely. I would absolutely try to make it clear (in a non-confrontational way) that you ARE lonely and that you need more interaction and activity in both of your lives.
ReplyDeleteI'm currently living in Northern Switzerland with my husband, and around here, he's the ONLY one I speak to, as I'm currently unemployed (thanks, economy). The guy is gone 10 hours a day, and it's nerve wracking without a familiar companion. All my friends are either in the States or hours away from here, I never speak English outside of the home, and my neighbors are ALLERGIC to genuine conversation--I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
ReplyDelete