It's fine, I get it. This pregnancy is not an emotional or special experience for him. It's a responsibility. He's made it so amazingly apparent since is son got here four days ago that there is only room in his heart for one person, and that person isn't me or our baby.
No wonder I feel like crying all the time.
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12 years ago
Oh, honey, I'm sorry this is so hard.
ReplyDeleteI know that for some men, the baby isn't "real" until it's born. Is it possible that he just can't get attached until there's an actual living separate entity?
Hugs.
Okay. First, breathe. Nice big breaths.
ReplyDeleteSecond, Boys are stupid. Remembering this will help.
Third, you're pregnant which means that it is possible that there are moments when you aren't completely rational. I'm just saying.
He should be over the moon about spending time with his son who he hasn't seen in a few months. And his son isn't staying forever, so it is possible that he is giving his all to be able to appreciate the time he does have.
He could be feeling guilty over the fact that he is going to see your baby everyday but he only sees his son a few times a year. That isn't easy for anyone.
Chin up -- I'll be thinking of you today.
ReplyDeleteI second the "boys are stupid" comment. I just joined this game but at some point I will post about how when I was in the hospital nearly losing our first, my dear man was out drinking and partying with his friends. He turned out to be an awesome husband for 20 years, but he started out a douche.
ReplyDeleteI will second the "a lot of times it isn't real until the baby comes" comment. My husband didn't really seem to click with parenting until our daughter was about a year old. She was a quiet and easy baby, and I was breastfeeding her, so he really didn't have to be that involved in her care. It wasn't until she got old enough to really play with him that he "got" it. And now that they're both toddlers? He is a FANTASTIC dad. But he pissed me off plenty both times that I was pregnant, because he sometimes just didn't get that for me, pregnancy was a huge reality every second of every day, whereas for him, a lot of times, it was just this vague idea that in a few months there'd be a baby.
ReplyDeleteHe wouldn't still have you around if you weren't in his heart. And he wouldn't have been okay with you carrying to full term if he didn't welcome the thought of a child with you. He's still around, but he's a MAN. Men don't understand the frippery of baby things (cribs, changing tables), and men are focused on the moment, not the future.
ReplyDeleteIf he still behaves this way after the baby gets here, then you have license to feel this way. Until then, give him a break and maybe figure out a cheaper way to do the changing table-- you could make your own??
**hugs**